com·pas·sion (km-pshn): Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.
Last week after the long weekend - great holiday, I was tired. We had traveled from St. Louis all day Saturday - and after 10.5 hours in the car - I was ready to get out - just have a little bit of space. As I put my kids to bed - my patience waned. We quickly said a prayer, I blew kisses and said good night and swiftly shut the door. As I shut the door I heard Anna-Prin say, "Geez, she didn't even give us kisses." I opened the door, and said, "You know what guys, I'm sorry. I am super cranky tonight. I'm tired. Haven't been what you deserve tonight. You come home from vacation and just get dinner and get to go to bed. I come home - need to sweep, clean up, unpack, do mounds of laundry. Sometimes mom just wants someone to feed her dinner and put her to bed. But that's not your fault - and so I am sorry I was cranky tonight. You deserved better from me."
Carter chimes in, "Mom, let's trade. We will get up and sweep and unpack and do laundry and you go to bed. Let us help."
I went to give them all proper kisses and told them how much I loved them.
I have learned from a great counselor that ultimately, we all just want to be understood. Heard. For someone to have compassion.
Compassion is hard. Compassion is hard because it's so much easier to NOT understand. To NOT help. To NOT say I'm sorry. To let pride win. We would rather be right than have compassion.
When someone takes the time to show compassion - to understand what you might be going through, YOUR side of the story, your life - my gosh, doesn't that feel good? When someone asks you how you are doing - and really cares about the answer.
I think compassion is one of the greatest gifts we can give to each other. And frankly, I don't think people have to be suffering in order for us to give it to them. I think we can just have more compassion.
Every single person has a story. Every single person is going through something. Big or small - we all are. We are ALL worried about something, someone. We all feel insecure about one thing or another. We all feel inadequate. Overwhelmed at times. What if someone showed you compassion for all those things. And even better -what if you did for them.
Have you ever considered what it's REALLY like to be your dad? Mom? Sibling? Special needs? Abused? Addicted? Lose someone you love? Have a learning disability? Depressed? Have serious money problems? A teenager?
I promise you, you know people who are going through something, whether you know it or not.
Maybe if we looked on each other with a little more compassion, we would have better relationships. Trust each other more. Be more honest about our needs - and be more willing to let others help.
Your compassion can be an incredible gift to someone who isn't expecting it. My son melted me. In that moment, I was understood - heard - someone reached out instead of getting angry, hurt, taking something personal. Gosh, that was nice.
Each one of us has the ability to be compassionate. To give that gift to someone who needs it today. Reach out to someone. Lighten their burden. Try to see and understand where they might be coming from..........love them, in spite of them.
What a gift your compassion could be.
I love you. Always will.
T
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