T's Weekly Thought: What A Gift

com·pas·sion (km-pshn): Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.

Last week after the long weekend - great holiday, I was tired.  We had traveled from St. Louis all day Saturday - and after 10.5 hours in the car - I was ready to get out - just have a little bit of space.  As I put my kids to bed - my patience waned.  We quickly said a prayer, I blew kisses and said good night and swiftly shut the door.  As I shut the door I heard Anna-Prin say, "Geez, she didn't even give us kisses."  I opened the door, and said, "You know what guys, I'm sorry.  I am super cranky tonight.  I'm tired.  Haven't been what you deserve tonight.  You come home from vacation and just get dinner and get to go to bed.  I come home - need to sweep, clean up, unpack, do mounds of laundry.  Sometimes mom just wants someone to feed her dinner and put her to bed.  But that's not your fault - and so I am sorry I was cranky tonight.  You deserved better from me."

Carter chimes in, "Mom, let's trade.  We will get up and sweep and unpack and do laundry and you go to bed.  Let us help."

I went to give them all proper kisses and told them how much I loved them.

I have learned from a great counselor that ultimately, we all just want to be understood.  Heard.  For someone to have compassion.

Compassion is hard.  Compassion is hard because it's so much easier to NOT understand.  To NOT help.  To NOT say I'm sorry.  To let pride win.  We would rather be right than have compassion. 

When someone takes the time to show compassion - to understand what you might be going through, YOUR side of the story, your life - my gosh, doesn't that feel good?  When someone asks you how you are doing - and really cares about the answer.

I think compassion is one of the greatest gifts we can give to each other.  And frankly, I don't think people have to be suffering in order for us to give it to them.  I think we can just have more compassion. 

Every single person has a story.  Every single person is going through something.  Big or small - we all are.  We are ALL worried about something, someone.  We all feel insecure about one thing or another.  We all feel inadequate.  Overwhelmed at times.  What if someone showed you compassion for all those things.  And even better -what if you did for them.

Have you ever considered what it's REALLY like to be your dad?  Mom?  Sibling?  Special needs?  Abused?  Addicted?  Lose someone you love?  Have a learning disability?  Depressed?  Have serious money problems?  A teenager?

I promise you, you know people who are going through something, whether you know it or not. 

Maybe if we looked on each other with a little more compassion, we would have better relationships.  Trust each other more.  Be more honest about our needs - and be more willing to let others help.

Your compassion can be an incredible gift to someone who isn't expecting it.  My son melted me.  In that moment, I was understood - heard - someone reached out instead of getting angry, hurt, taking something personal. Gosh, that was nice.

Each one of us has the ability to be compassionate.  To give that gift to someone who needs it today.  Reach out to someone.  Lighten their burden.  Try to see and understand where they might be coming from..........love them, in spite of them.

What a gift your compassion could be.

I love you.  Always will.

T

T's Weekly Thought: Every Last One

Last Friday I was at Preston Hollow Elementary where I was invited to a nice lunch by the Principal of the school. It was a lovely lunch given in honor of the teachers and volunteers at the school. As we sat there eating, the principal stood to say a few words about his love for the school, learning, the children, his staff......and the gratitude he felt to work in such a wonderful school - a school that you know is different, just by walking the halls. He got a little choked up. And frankly, so did I. After a beautiful prayer, we all sat and enjoyed this really nice meal together.

As I walked out of that school that day, I was so grateful. Grateful that my kids go to such a great school. With such great teachers. Have made such great friends. And are led by such a Godly man as their Principal.

Here's the really funny part. Or maybe not so funny.....

A little over a year and a half ago I went to visit that school as a "potential" place for my kiddos to go when they arrived here from Ghana. When I went to the school I sat down with the counselor and listened as she proudly told me all about Preston Hollow Elementary. I listened, was gracious - but as I walked out, called my husband and immediately said, "NOPE!" There is no way they are going to that school. It is WAY too diverse, too many kids are bused in, we don't know what kind of homes these kids are from, etc. etc. etc.

You can imagine.

I made RIDICULOUS judgments (the very ones I preach to YOU to stop making) about these kids, their families, their homes. And immediately put myself, my family, my children in "another category". This school was nice for "them" - but not so much for me.

Funny how life works out.

Our kids arrived last summer - about 2 weeks before school started. There were no choices or "alternatives". Private schools weren't taking applications 2 weeks before school started - and frankly, it just wasn't an option.

So there I was, first day of school, pulling in to Preston Hollow Elementary. With all my

judgment. All my assumptions.

YUK.

Long story short. I was dead wrong. I was so off the mark about "that school" and "those bused in kids" and "those families", etc. etc. And shame on me for ever even thinking in those terms. In those ways.

Every single Friday now I volunteer at my kid’s school. Yep. I actually CHOOSE to spend my day off there volunteering at "that school" serving lunch and picking up trash after "those kids". And let me tell you something, I love it. I absolutely love it. They are the cutest, sweetest, kindest - most humble kids I have ever met. And wow are they cool. I love their families. I love their parents. I love the sweet community.

My gosh we are sad, silly people sometimes. I mean, honestly, how many more times do I have to hear "we are all created in the image of God" to actually BELIEVE that we are ALL created in the image of God? And how limiting it is to our life and the potential we have to love to place judgments on people that just don't deserve it?

I am so grateful that God continues to teach me - or maybe that through His love, I am reminded of a better way. While I am truly ashamed of my judgment, I walk away grateful. Grateful to be reminded that making judgments on people we really know nothing about is nothing short of unkind. Real unkind actually. There should be little room in our hearts for them. Every single one of God's beautiful creatures deserves a chance.

Every last one.

I love you. Always will.

T

T's Weekly Thought: Jesus at the Finish

Sunday was really awesome. 

A bunch of people who love Tom Lueder and the Lueder family got together to run for DFW Purple Stride to raise money and awareness for pancreatic cancer.  Most of you know Tom passed away due to the disease less than a year ago.  So Sunday was awesome.

Sunday was also sad.

As I walked the 5k - I couldn't help but look around at all the signs on people's backs.....

Running in memory of:  my friend, my aunt, my brother, my daddy.

Those signs were tough.  And even though I didn't know the people, my heart still went out to them - for what they and their loved ones were going through.  The toughest one for me was the one on Tom's brothers back.  It simply said, "My brother".

As we were driving home I couldn't help but tell my kids how proud I was of them - and grateful that they tried so hard for Tom.  Carter said, "Mom, he was there.  And he won the race with the angels carrying him."  We were at a light and I turned around from the front seat of my car to tell Carter that I thought he was exactly right.  There was no doubt that Tom was there and had won the race.  Carter said, "Of course he won mom - he was running to Jesus at the finish!"

There is no doubt in my mind that Jesus was at the finish line.  And not just for the race Sunday.  But for the race Tom ran his whole life.  Tom ran every single day of his life.  And even though a disease took his body, it did not take his spirit - that no doubt, ran to our Savior the day he left this earth.

I find enormous comfort in Carter's words.

And.........in the words of Isaiah where it says, "But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."

The only sure thing in this life is death.  And while that can be a very scary thought - and incredibly sad - our hope and our joy and our peace in the midst of it all is that on that day, we WILL find new strength.  We will soar on wings like eagles.  And we will run.  And for those who remain faithful, our Savior will be waiting with open arms to welcome us home.

Eternal life is a precious gift our Savior gave us.  To one day, win our race - and find Jesus at the finish line.

I love you.  Always will.

T

T's Weekly Thought: THAT is a lie

Happy Day Everyone!    Hope you are all doing terrific!

This last weekend something happened that I guess I always knew would happen -but never wanted......and no matter how much I've thought about it - nothing could prepare me to hear it.

My son, Carter had spent the night out with a friend - while he was at some friends - some more friends (people that Carter didn't know) joined in to play.  There was a soccer game and Carter accidentally hit the shin of one of the older/unfamiliar boys.  Well -this boy decided to just go off!  He called him names - bad names. Names that have to do with the color of his skin.  Names he had never heard before.  Names I have always dreaded he - or any of my children would be called......that somehow Topher or I would have to explain.

The next day, Carter's friend's mom pulled me aside to tell me about it and how sorry she was.  I calmly listened.........

As we got in the car - we all talked about the incident.  About the names.  About the words.  I asked Carter what he thought.  He said that he told the boy that it didn't matter what he thought.   They were lies - and that he just must feel bad about himself to say such horrible things to somebody else..........

HECK YES!!!!!!

Carter was right on. 

It was a wonderful teaching moment.  A wonderful moment to remind ALL of my kids that the only true thing about us is what God says about us.......and God said everything not just by his words - but by His life and by His death. 

SO.......why can't we all do that? If I could just bottle up what Carter said and sell it and somehow that would make everyone feel better - WOW - I'd be rich.  Because every single one of us at some point or another listens to lies that other people say about us.  People call us fat or ugly or poor or stupid - or not good enough - or not fast enough or not smart enough or popular enough - and the list goes on and on and on and you want to know something TRUE??

EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE THINGS IS A LIE.

And I think when we believe them - it absolutely breaks our Savior's heart because you are so LOVED and so PERFECT and so GOOD that YOU, yes YOU were worth dying for.

In the Psalms it says that we were perfectly and wonderfully made.  Every single last one of us.  Of course we were.  I mean.........you really think God "forgot" something??  I can just hear it now - "OH SHOOT!  I just put Tova in her mommy's belly but I forgot to give her the perfect body and a perfect smile and dang it!!! I meant to give her really blonde hair - not brown! And gosh darn it - I left some of her brain out - she was meant to be WAAAY smarter than I made her....." 

Something tells me......that just didn't happen.  It didn't happen because God got it right.

God got YOU right.

And so if and WHEN someone comes along with a big fat LIE that YOU or parts of you are a mistake.......you need to remember something - and this is really really important......here it is:

What someone negatively or unkindly thinks or says about you says WAAAAAY more about them then it ever does about you.  Period.

And here's why......God calls us to love.  And God calls us to not judge.  And God calls us to be US- in spite of others - or what they think about US and who God made us to be.

Be you.  Be the person God created you to be.  Be PROUD of that.  And embrace the fact that ANYONE who tells you that THAT person that God created isn't "right" or good or somehow "wrong".........well, THAT is a lie and it says way more about that person than it does you.

You were created in the image of God.  Period.

I love you.  Always will.

T