Week of 11-29-10
Hey Everyone!
I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!
I know I am an old woman to many of you - so - for those of you who aren't familiar with Andre Agassi - let me just start by saying he is one of the greatest tennis players of all time. I recently finished his book "OPEN" and really loved it. He has been through a lot in his life - and in this book seemed to be really honest with people - not only about tennis, but his life. Andre spent most of his teenage years pretty angry - and conflicted.........he said something about that I really liked. Here goes:
"Several sportswriters muse about my transformation from youth to adult - and that word rankles. I think it misses the mark. Transformation is change from on thing to another, but I started as nothing. I didn't transform, I formed. When I broke into tennis, I was like most kids: I didn't know who I was, and I rebelled at being told by older people. I think older people make this mistake all the time with younger people, treating them as finished products when in fact they're in process. It's like judging a tennis match before it's over, and I've come from behind too often, and had too many opponents come roaring back against me, to think that's a good idea."
I have to say, as a new mom - this hit me pretty hard. I think I do this all the time to my kids. I expect them to ALWAYS behave, use their manners, not act TOO silly. I dream for them about what they are going to be when they grow up. I tell them what foods they will eat - and determine when they are hungry and when they are full. I think some times I live through them - like I didn't get this as a kid - or get to do that as a kid - and so I push what I feel like I missed and/or wanted on to them - when really, it might not be what they are missing or wanting at all.
I don't think this is just a parent to kid thing though. I have heard so many of you say - I wish my mom was like ________________'s mom (you fill in the blank). I wish my dad made more money. I wish we went camping as a family like the so and so's or vacationed at _________________. I wish my mom was funnier. Smarter. I wish my dad played more sports, went to more games. I wish both of them were way more cool.
What the heck is wrong with who we all are? JUST THE WAY WE ARE!
My daughter loves that song that says, "Cuz girl you're amazing......just the way you are!" She sings it REALLY loud from the back seat every time it comes on.
I think I know why she likes it. And why I like it.
Because we are amazing. Just the way we are.
And aren't we all - no matter how old - "in process".......far from a "finished product"??
So - why are we all wishing our lives away?? Wishing those closest/most important to us, would change to be who WE want or think they should be instead of what they were created to be?
Where is our grace for them?
Our patience for their process?
Our unconditional love?
LOVE WITHOUT JUDGEMENT. LOVE WITHOUT CONDITION.
What would our families look like if we really just appreciated where we all are in our "process"?
Stop wishing.
Start enjoying.
I think that's the way God intended it to be.
I love you. Always will.
T
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