T's Weekly Thought: Suicide

Over 6 years ago when I was hired at our church to work with the youth, there was a word......a situation.....something that I prayed I would never ever have to deal with. 

That "thing" was suicide.

I felt like I could handle almost any other situation as a youth minister.

But suicide......that's where I really struggle.

I struggle for those who find themselves in so much hurt, so much pain - so little hope - that they believe the only way out is death.

And I really really struggle for those left behind.  I can't imagine the questions......

Why?

How could they do it?

Wasn't I worth staying for?

Why didn't they ask for help? 

Get help?

Why would they give up?

Lose the fight?

What about me?

I have avoided this topic for a long time because I always thought it was only applicable to a few people.  Unfortunately, what I've learned over the last few years is that there are very few people in this community that escape without the unbearable sting of suicide.

Let me start by saying that I don't have any answers.  I am not going to pretend for one moment that I understand that kind of pain or hopelessness.  As difficult as my own road has been at times, I have to admit that suicide was never a real option for me. 

So....what do we do in the midst of it?  How do we get through it?  And more importantly, how do we help others avoid it? 

Again, I don't want to pretend for a second that I have any answers.  I feel so unqualified to address this issue.......at the same time.....it is an issue.

I think the first thing we have to do is understand that suicide has little room for judgment.  I know a lot of people use the word "selfish" when they talk about the person who committed suicide.  I guess suicide may appear selfish......but I have to think there is way more to it that someone acting out in selfishness.  I think it's much bigger than that.  Much deeper than that......and a whole lot more painful than that.

I think suicide, like any death, reminds us how precious moments with the ones we love are.  And how we shouldn't take a single one of them for granted.  Ever.

I think suicide is also a reminder that we never really really know.  We never REALLY know what someone is going through.  We don't fully know their pain, insecurities, fears, regrets, emptiness, loneliness.......heartaches.  And because we never REALLY know.....the only response we should ever have is love. 

Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying that love heals all wounds, takes away all the pain, heals every illness - but I can't imagine that it hurts.

I've said this before - but there is a quote I love.....it says, "When we begin to understand, only then can we love."  When we try to understand people, talk to people, listen to people.......it's a whole lot easier to love people. 

Suicide just breaks my heart.  As I hug those close to me who have dealt with it - in that moment I imagine what it would feel like - to be that person's wife, daughter, sister, mom......and I can't help but well up in tears and pray for the questions, the hurt.......the pain.

My deepest prayer is that before any one of you considers suicide as an option - you reach out - just one more time......cry.  Cry loud for help - come to me, to your mom, your best friend......anyone you trust to help you get through that dark moment so that you can once again find hope.  The hope that our precious Savior gave us.  He promises he came to give us life.  Life abundant.  I believe in that hope because I have seen that hope shine through the darkest moments of my own life.  He will never leave you.  Never forsake you........

Ever.

I love you.  Always will.

T

T's Weekly Thought: Live for the One

So.....the other day I got the following note from one of my daughter Anna-Prin's teachers:

"I have to tell you, Anna Prin made me smile so wide in class on Monday. They were working on vocab and definitions. I asked if anyone knew what healed meant and after some explaining from different students, Anna Prin blurts out, "Oh yea like the lepers in the bible!" Then not longer after that, we were discussing fiction and folktales. I asked,"Do you really believe that chipmunks have a stripe down their backs because one was scratched by a bear a long time ago?"  Anna Prin says,"Oh no!""God just made them that way." Not many kids can or would do that these days. I love it.....just love it. Hope you do as well."

I was so dang proud of my daughter.  I read her the email and then asked Anna-Prin....."do you know why that's such a big deal?"  She said....."No mommy, why?"  I told her it's because a lot of people in the world are afraid to talk about Jesus.....and she says,"Why mom? He died for us."

He did die for us. And because of that love we should never fear.  Never fear living a life of appreciation through actions and our words for Him.   

Live for the One who died for You.

I love you.  Always will.

T

T's Weekly Thought: What Will They Say?

Hey Everyone!

This last week I had a nice long lunch with a great friend.  I really admire this friend.  She's so beautiful inside and out.  My favorite thing about this friend is the perspective I am reminded of when I am with her.  We were discussing how hard it is to raise kids today. How to keep perspective in the midst of a world and society that often times seems to lack one.   My friend has two daughters - and we couldn't help but talk about the pressure among girls for the perfect body.  To be skinny.  No fat.  Something tells me that even though guys don't talk about it as much - the pressure is the same. Big muscles.  Strong.  Lean.

Then she said something I really liked....."I mean seriously T, I've been to a lot of funerals. NO ONE says......'Oh gosh, she was amazing.  Kind, giving - and man - she was sooooo skinny!  Great body!'"

She's exactly right.  I haven't heard anything like that at someone’s funeral either......

Something really cool happened tonight.  My family and I were out to dinner at a barbecue joint and standing right in front of us was Nelson Cruz.  Now let me tell you something........my family LOVES baseball.  And so......as you can imagine......we FLIPPED!

It looked like he was with his family......mom, dad, maybe a couple of brothers, sister, a cousin?  Not really sure.  But one thing is for sure.......he was a total and complete gentleman.  This guy - who seemingly has it all - was more than just an all-star MVP baseball player tonight.  I couldn't help but watch him as he ate.  He was a gentle giant with his mom.  As he finished eating.....a line formed - and this All-Star took pictures and signed autographs for EVERY single person that wanted one.  Here's what really got me....he handed his money clip to someone with him - and as if this person knew exactly what to do - every single staff person in the restaurant that passed was given a $100 bill from Cruz's clip. He stayed until the last person in line had gone through - and as he walked out......the place erupted.  Everyone clapped. 

It really was an incredible moment.

Incredible because Cruz didn't have to do ANY of that.  I mean - it's NELSON CRUZ.  He could have ordered, ate - walked out.  Never acknowledging all the Ranger caps in the room - dying to be signed.  All the kids (especially MINE!) - wide - eyed.......Praying that he would notice that they noticed him.  That he was kind to his family.   And so giving to the staff of the restaurant.  

What my friend said to me hit me again tonight.  Don't get me wrong.....I am sure to a whole lot of people Cruz will be remembered for his power homers, huge muscles, incredible skills.  Rightfully so.  But he obviously cares about a whole lot more than just being a baseball legend......and, my assumption is, he would like to be remembered for more than his RBI's.  As much as I love watching Cruz play baseball, I choked up watching him get a picture with my kids.....and being so incredibly generous with the wait staff.  So while baseball has got to be important to him - there's more to his story.  His value system.  Priorities. Legacy.  Something tells me......those are the things those who are closest to him, really love him for.....know about.  Value.  Will remember........

If I were to die tomorrow - I would like to think that I would be known as a decent Youth Minister of a large Methodist Church.  That I worked hard.  Accomplished a lot.

But at my funeral........I hope they would mostly say that my family was everything to me.  That I was a big fan of the underdog.  I helped people.  Was compassionate.  I tried my best in everything I did.  I was a good friend and loving sister.  A great mom who was crazy about her husband.  And that I tried my best to glorify my Savior.

I hope they would say those things because I hope that is what my life reflects. Of course shallow things seep in - I worry about my hair, my house, my body, what other people think - but my prayer is that those are fleeting thoughts/worries and that I actually spend time on those things I deem most important.  The things I would like to be remembered for.......

Bottom line.....I hate to be the one to tell you - but at your funeral - they aren't going to talk about your body.  Your house.  Your hair.  Your skin. Your muscles. Your car or how skinny you are.

They are going to talk about your soul, your heart........and the way you made them feel.

What will they say about you?

I love you.  Always will.

T

Spring Break Mission Trip!

Hey Youth!  Bill here, and I’m so excited to announce that we have opened registration for this years Spring Break Mission Trip!

This year, from March 11-16,  HPUMC Youth will road trip to San Antonio, Texas to help underprivileged people transform their houses to make them safe, dry, and warm.  Many of these homeowners are living in houses that have holes in the roof or rotten walls, and so we will be doing a good mix of flooring, sheet rocking, painting, and even some roofing for the older kids!  Since San Antonio has some of the highest per-capita deficient housing levels in the state, there will certainly be a lot of work to do.  This year, we are working through an excellent ministry group that is used to housing large teams like ours – we will sleep at their dorms, eat meals cooked by their staff, and worship in their sanctuary!  I just got back from a scouting trip to check the place out and meet some of the homeowners, and I think this might be the most excited I’ve been for a mission trip in a very long while – our hosts were incredibly hospitable, and the homeowners were so gracious and humbled by the work being done.  One homeowner had picture albums of every team that had worked on his house – these were his prized possessions, and he could tell stories about each of them.  We will work all day, have amazing worship in the evenings, and then get to spend some great time bonding as a community at night.  The early bird registration cost is only $520 if you sign up before the deadline– that’s cheaper than last year!

The HPUMC youth staff is coming – are you?  

For all the details and for registration please follow the link below.

http://www.hpumc.org/pages/youth-mission-trip-payment

T's Weekly Thought: Did You See Jesus?

So I am FAR from the perfect mom......BUT.....most nights I try really hard to read from Bible and pray together with my kiddos.

The other night all 3 of my kids were cuddled close while I was reading from their children's Bible.  We read a couple of chapters and then - per usual - said our prayers. 

After the prayer, George (my six year old pumpkin) says, "MOM!!!  Did you see Jesus during the story?"  I paused......"No Georgie, I didn't".  He responds, "Well he was sitting RIGHT THERE (pointing to the open spot on my bed)!  You totally missed out Mommy.  Maybe next time." 

Yeah Georgie........maybe next time.

WHAT!!!!!!????  JESUS!!!  Sitting on my bed? Hanging out during bedtime stories? 

According to George - no doubt. He was there.

I tucked them in and just took an enormous deep breath.  Was Jesus really there?  And if he was.......why didn't I see him?  Was I too distracted?  Was I worried about the time?  Making lunches?  What was on the "to-list" for tomorrow?  How could Georgie see something that was SO real??

I thought about what George has on his mind.  Uhhhhh......nothing.  My little guy is 100% in the moment.  If you are talking to him - he is talking to you.  If he's in school.  He's in school.  If he's reading the Bible -he's reading the Bible.  His mind is free from worry, clutter, noise, distractions.  My little guy is lucky - he is right where he is. 

If you think about it......why wouldn't Jesus be there?  The VERY last thing He shares with us in Matthew is, "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of age."

According to Matthew - this is what Jesus left us with.......I will be with you.  Forever.

So......if you think about it......is it all that shocking that George saw Him with us?  I mean.....really......it's almost MORE strange if he wasn't. 

I don't know about you - but I compartmentalize God.  The Bible was written.  Jesus lived.  Died.  And now we gotta figure it out......right?

Actually.....not at all.

Why would God and Jesus spend so much time with people in the Old and New Testament to leave us hanging in this day and time? Why would a loving God leave us to go about this crazy life alone?

He wouldn't. 

The power of the Holy Spirit is real.  Jesus is real. We are so incredibly loved and cared for.  Our Lord is forever aware of our needs, our desires, our lives......and I believe with everything inside me - DESPERATELY seeks to be a part of it.......

Even, a sweet simple bed time story.

Did you see Jesus???

I love you.  Always will.

T

T's Weekly Thought: As I Have Loved You

People are funny. 

When I went to college I had no idea what I wanted to do for a living.....all I knew is I was incredibly fascinated by people.  So I studied Sociology.  I needed to know more about people.  How it all worked....and why we do what we do....."human activity" I remember one professor called it.

I was reminded of the "geek" in me when Gregg Medlyn at the Race to Nowhere panel talked about how each one of us are born "self esteem neutral".  I found this so fascinating that I asked him more about it......what does that mean exactly??

Come to find out.....apparently we are all born feeling the same way about ourselves.  We have NO idea that we are rich, poor, funny, smart, big, small, shy.....and even if we did - we could care less - because we have no idea what those "things" mean.  Things that one day.....might define us.

So.......apparently, as we grow older......and we learn more - we start to figure out from different people - parents, youth ministers, friends, teachers, coaches, people in the hall - who we are.  And somehow.....along with that - our value.  So while we are clueless tots - somewhere along the way - we learned.  We are no longer "neutral" - rather -very aware of what we think of ourselves.  My guess is most of this comes from those around us.

It's hard for me to believe as a youth minister that we are born "self esteem neutral" - especially when I meet with so many of you - and there is nothing neutral about how you feel about who you are. Most of you (us) are incredibly hard on yourselves.  We look in the mirror, we are benched for a game, we get our progress reports, someone says something unkind to us, we make a bad decision - and well, there's nothing neutral about the way we feel.

I think about this and I can't help but think about something Jesus said......

 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

It's interesting to me that Jesus chooses to say this....this way.  I mean - he could of just said, "Hey- love each other - okay?"

But, I actually think he's way more intentional in the way he goes about it......he says....."AS I HAVE LOVED YOU.......LOVE ONE ANOTHER." 

Most of the time I think I do a decent job loving people - but if I'm honest......does my love towards others emulate that of Christ's love towards me??

Ah......that would be a negative.

And I can't help but take it a step further and say......gosh - if we ALL did that......would we all still view ourselves as we did when we were just peanuts.  Would all our labels be gone....?  Or if we had them......WAY more tolerated?  And maybe even beyond tolerated, but LOVED.....? 

Jesus took time for all the people that no one else took time for.  He invested in people who didn't think they were worth much.  He loved the unloved......and because he loved them that way......their lives were changed.

I know it's hard to look at others, our family, ourselves......and just love.  I think that's why when Jesus came - he left us with two BIG commandments.  I think he realized it would take everything inside of us to somehow just do that.  Love Him.  Love others.  If we could JUST do that......just TRY to love others the way Christ loves you (me)........

It would change everything......

I love you.  Always will.

T

Second Sunday-A Night Of Worship

Second Sunday

     So about a month ago we had our first ever Second Sunday night worship.  In case you don't know what I'm talking about, Second Sunday is a time to escape everything for an hour once a month to sing, pray, meditate, or just listen while we sing worship songs with acoustic guitars and simple percussion.  This is a totally stripped down night of worship for anyone who wants to.  It's not a "youth" thing, a "college" thing, or a "young adult" thing.  It's for anyone and everyone who wants to gather and worship God.
     I love a big band.  I love lights and production.  I love a great message...but sometimes it's nice to just escape that and simply gather and sing.
     During Second Sunday back in September I was reminded of how rarely I get the opportunity to go back to my "first love".  For me, my "first love" is sitting around singing songs to God, about God.  For me, it's rejuvenating.  Second Sunday may not be your thing.  Music and singing may not be your "first love".  But I think we all need times of quiet to escape from the world and just think about God.  If you haven't found a time to do that, I hope you'll join us this Sunday October 9th in the Youth Basement of Highland Park United Methodist.
     Let us know if you have any questions.  We are so excited for this Sunday and we hope you are too.

Andrew

What you can do...

Check out the Facebook event and invite a friend.
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=254614944574270 

Check out last months blog about Second Sunday and pass the word.
http://hpumcstudents.blogspot.com/2011/09/second-sunday-night-of-worship.html

Join us on Sunday October 9th from 6-7pm in the Youth Basement of HPUMC.