T's Weekly Thought: LIVE!

As you know, I spend a lot of time talking about my kids - all the wonderful life lessons they teach me.  Most of the time it's because they do cute or sweet things........today I didn't get so lucky.

Today I had a car full - taking and dropping kids off.  One of my best friends crawled in the back of my Yukon and immediately pipes up, "Uh.....T, do you know that there is writing back here on your seat?  lt looks like someone took a marker to your seat."

No actually, I did NOT know that one of my kids took a sharpie to my leather seat. 

This is where the Lord's gift of deep breaths comes in REAL handy.

Shortly after, they got out of my car and headed to sports camp at Biggers.  My words were few. They got "the eye" from me - and that was enough for them to know that I wasn't happy - and we would have "the talk" later.

Later today I headed to Biggers to get a workout in before I had to pick them up. From the 3rd floor of the building I could look over the gym where the 3 of them were enjoying sports camp.  They caught my eye - and immediately were working diligently to make "everything okay" - blowing kisses, hugs, waving incessantly.  I thought to myself - Oh man they are WORKING ME!  Trying so hard to make up for the damage done - wanting to be forgiven - back in good graces......for everything to be "okay".

Gosh - in that moment I so sympathized with them. I remember being a little kid and doing something super stupid - getting in to trouble and just desperately wanting for my parents to stop being mad at me.  To please just forgive me and move past that yucky feeling of being "in trouble".

Sometimes I don't know whether that feeling is a curse or a blessing.  And honestly, I'd love to tell you that one day you'll never have to worry about that feeling again - that you'll stop doing stupid stuff- making bad choices.....live without any regrets.....but here's the hard truth -

You're entire life you will need forgiveness.  You're whole life you will need the grace that Jesus taught us to give.

And receive.

I saw something in my children today that is all too familiar in myself. I totally mess up and can't help but wonder-

Am I worth being forgiven?

Will they still love me?

Of course I am.  Of course my children are.  And of course you are.

But why is that so incredibly difficult to believe? 

I think that Jesus' grace is one of the most beautiful things about him.  One of those rare qualities that leaves us scratching our heads and saying things like "Really?  Are you SURE you still love me?  Are you positive I still have value?  Even after I did THAT?"

YES.  You do. 

Jesus himself in Matthew 26 said, "This is my blood of the  covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins."

Jesus did what He did so we could walk with our back straight and our head high.  So we could KNOW that yes, we do make mistakes - we write on our mom's Yukon leather seats with Sharpies - and are STILL worthy of His love.  STILL worth forgiving.  STILL have value.

I think sometimes in life it's a whole lot easier to look at our past, our mistakes - as some sort excuse for why we aren't living.  Why we can't change.  That somehow we are destined for this life of "failure" and sin because well, it's what we've always done.  We don't believe we are worth more than our sin.

You wanna know something........that's just a sad lie.  Because God didn't send His son to die on a cross for you to resign. Give up. 

Jesus came to give each one of us hope.  Forgiveness.  Redemption.  And not just once -but again and again and again.

I don't know what you are hanging on to. What sin keeps you from fully living.  What failure has lied to you....

Here's what I know. Christ came.  He lived a perfect life. He showed us how to live and to love.  And then died for our sins.  Three days later He rose from the dead - ascended in to heaven - and dwells with our eternal God where WE -ME AND YOU - can and will return one day.

YOU are worthy of that gift.  YOU were worth dying for.  YOU are worth forgiving.  and YOU are worth loving. 

PERIOD.

Now........go live that life!!  Stop making excuses and live -  KNOWING that you are of worth, value, love, forgiveness.

I love you.  Always will.

T

T's Weekly Thought: Already Been Given

This past week I had an incredibly special treat.  My younger sister received a masters degree - and so my entire family (brother, 2 sisters, and dad) were all together for the weekend.  It was simply the best. I love my brother, sisters and dad so much.  Time with them is like winning the lottery.  I was especially lucky to steal a few moments with my brother.  Saturday morning we woke up early and went for a jog together.  In that 40 minutes I felt nothing but love.  We had such a great talk about the holy spirit- and how both of us in so many ways had felt God's love for us.  We talked about the different ways God had revealed himself to us.  Through answered prayers, other people, comfort, love. 

Gosh - God is so incredibly good.  His love for us is so real.  I am reminded often - whether through a personal experience, or of those around me - that God REALLY does know us.  He is so incredibly aware of us.  Our needs.  Our desires.  Our weaknesses.  And I believe, more than anything, that it is His desire for us to believe in Him.  For us to believe that He really DOES care. Really does know.  Really does bless..........even in those darkest, saddest, loneliest moments. Our Savior stands - waiting to hear our prayers and bless us in and through those moments.

Tonight as I was cleaning out an old bookcase I found a journal I kept shortly after my daughter Louisa passed away.  I wrote, "Last night I had a dream.  Louisa was in my dream.  I don't remember what happened - but I know I saw her - and as I looked at her a song was playing in the background -

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me

There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me

The touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever I fall

You say it best, when you say nothing at all."

I just had to sit down for a minute......gather myself as I was reminded of God's great love.  Again. 

Christ isn't physically here - but He promised us before He left that while He was going - we would never be alone. The power of the Holy Spirit is so real.  That spirit blesses us and reminds us often that our God would never ever leave us to do this life alone. How could we??

My prayer this Christmas season is that Christ's greatest gift - His love - will permeate your heart.  Your life. Your home.  That you will be reminded this season that He DOES know you.  He loves you. His desire is for you to feel and know that love.  And while He isn't here physically, his Holy Spirit can and will bless you through precious feelings, other people, comfort, love........peace.

May Christ's Holy Spirit reign throughout your holiday and remind you that the greatest gift has already been given.......the life and love of our Saviour, Jesus Christ.

Merry Christmas.

I love you.  Always will.

T

Race To Nowhere: Don't Miss Our Unbelievable Panel

Dear Youth Families -   

A couple of months ago our church hosted a viewing and panel discussion of the film, The Race To Nowhere.  I was so personally moved by this film that I felt like we had to do more.  This film addresses the pressure on kids today to keep up - and the never ending "race to nowhere".  




On Sunday, January 8, HPUMC Youth Ministry will be hosting a second viewing of this film with a panel discussion to follow that includes:
 
Dan Myers, M.D., author of Biblical Parenting
Richard Bohac, Assistant Principal of Highland Park Middle School
Cathie Looney, Certified Reality Therapist and acclaimed national speaker
Tova Sido, Director of Youth Ministry, HPUMC
Candace Winslow, Interim Director of Children's Ministry, HPUMC 

I am so excited to have so many incredible, relevant people on our panel.  It's going to be a great event - something you don't want to miss.    Please put this date on your calendar.  Then make sure your whole family can be there.  Then invite 3 families you know. 

It's just that important.    

See you there!!

Tova


http://www.hpumc.org/racetonowhere

T's Weekly Thought: Prayer

I have had something on my mind a lot lately.  Prayer.

Honestly, I don't know how people in this world get along without it.  Whether I am experiencing exceptionally good or bad times-I am all over prayer. In the bad times I need help, and in the good times.......I can't help but say thank you - and please please please........let it last.

I remember when I was about 8, I was visiting my aunt in Florida.  Flying on a plane all by myself.  I prayed and prayed and prayed for weeks before that I would sit by someone who was nice - and there wouldn't be any turbulence during the flight.  The day finally came for me to board that plane. I sat next to a girl my age who happened to be flying alone too. Turbulence free, we sat there and played cards and sipped on Sprite the entire flight.  I couldn't have been happier.  I knew God had answered my prayers.  And I was His forever.  I believed that He knew me, He loved me, that I was His child that He really did care about.

Tonight I was at the Festival of Carols at our church.  The youth choir sang the most beautiful song......Will We Know Him?  It's a beautiful song that talks about the birth of Christ.  Here is this King....Jesus, who was born. And even though He is born in lowly manger, when we see the star - and this tiny little baby - will we know Him when He comes?

I love that song. I love how humble Christ was. How sweet and unassuming He came. How precious and beautiful He lived......and how courageous and selfless he died.  It's amazing how little He required - and yet how impactful He was.  I mean think about it - this one beautiful person changed everything for everyone for forever.

I couldn't help hearing that song tonight, asking myself the same question........Would I know Him?  If Christ was here - if He came and stood before me - walk among us - Would I know?

Would you?

I think it's easy to think about "back then".  I mean OF COURSE if I was alive "back then" - when Christ was here - I would know Him.  I would follow him.  I wouldn't deny him.  You would too.  Right???

Really?  Would I?  Would you?

How would we know that it's REALLY Him? That He was worth listening to?  Knowing?  Following?

Back to prayer.......

It seems to me that one of the precious gifts that Christ gave us to KNOW him is through prayer.  I believe with everything inside me that this is truly a way to KNOW that Christ is there. That He listens, cares, answers.

I think a lot of us think we know Christ, want to know Christ, hope to know Christ - but how many of us PRAY to know Christ.  Beg for His presence in our lives.  ASK for Him to help us along our way. Plead for His spirit to help us, guide our path.

Because of your relationship with Christ - Would you know Him if He came?  Would you fall to your knees like the wise men?  Bringing gifts for the King that came as a poor baby in a barn??

I hope I would. I hope that my life reflects a desire to know Christ. I would hope that because of my persistent reflection and love for Christ that if He came again - regardless of where or how - that I would know Him.  Worship Him.  Cry out to Him.

Prayer is such a gift. It is such a necessary gift that I feel we often miss.  Miss an opportunity to see God in so many beautiful ways........

My gosh He loves us.  And believe it or not, He really knows you and really loves you.  I have to believe that He desires for us to know and love Him in the same way.  I think that prayer is a gift He gave us to fill that desire.  To bless us in unbelievable ways.  Help us in this crazy world along our unpredictable paths.

I encourage you to use it.  Take advantage of this precious precious gift our Savior gave us.  Prayer WILL change your faith.  WILL bring you more peace.  WILL help you see your Savior in your life - blessing you along your path.

I have experienced it in my own life.  I have seen Christ move mountains in my life.  No question I have seen Him. 

I desperately pray for you to believe that Christ wants the same in your life.  For you to.......know Him.

I love you.  Always will.

T

Help Us Congratulate Clayton Small

Dear HPUMC Youth and Families -

I know many of you over the last few years have been incredibly blessed by our fabulous part-time staff Clayton Small.  Clayton has truly been a gift to our ministry.

Sadly, for us, Clayton will be graduating from Dallas Baptist University this December and has taken a full time job in Kansas City to be a Jr. High youth minister.  This is a great opportunity for Clayton - and his new wife-to-be in the coming year!  And while we wish him all the luck, love and blessings - we can't help but be incredibly sad to lose one of the greatest ministers ever to be a part of this ministry.  Clayton came here as a freshman in college - wide eyed and green as they come!  Almost 4 years later, he will leave a young man - one of the best I have ever know.

This week is Clayton's last week.  He will be preaching this Wednesday at WOW and this Sunday at THRIVE - and would love the opportunity to say good-bye to all of you who can make it.  I know he would also be blessed by your words of love, gratitude and encouragement.  His email is smallc@hpumc.org.

Clayton, thank you - You have been an incredible gift and blessing to this ministry and especially to this staff.  We love you.  Wish you the best of luck.....and hope you know you always have a home here with us.

God bless you forever and always.

Tova

T's Weekly Thought: Today

This past weekend I went to a Christmas party where I ran into a friend I haven't seen in a while.  As we chatted and caught up I asked her how her children were doing.  She answered, "Ya know....today was a good day."  I absolutely loved that answer.

Today was a good day.

I wish when I woke up I could think - just do good TODAY.  Be kind today.  Be a great mom - just for today.  I wish I could look at my life in "today" language.  

I think that's a super difficult thing to do.  I put an inordinate amount of pressure on myself to not just be mediocre - but instead to be darn near perfect.  Now - I fail a lot of the time - but it certainly doesn't mean I am not trying.  And so when I break that down and think - okay - hopefully I am going to live for many more years.......how am I going to achieve so much for so long?  How can I possibly work out, do yoga, jog for the REST of my life?  How can I go on being patient with my kids forever?  How can I possibly achieve so much as a youth minister for much longer?  

It can be incredibly overwhelming.

And let's be honest.  Ya'll are A LOT younger than me.  You have a lot more years ahead of you than I do.  I can't imagine the pressure to look perfect, make perfect grades, be the perfect son, daughter, sister, brother, friend.  To move WAY beyond mediocrity in sports, playing instruments, etc, etc etc.  I mean I see the pace you have to keep to "keep up" (which is just gives me a stomach ache to write about - I can't imagine the pressure of actually living it!) - it's mind boggling.  And I have to imagine that over time - that pressure day in and day out takes a toll.  Everybody's worried about the grades you're getting, the colleges you will apply to, who will accept you, where will you go, will you make the team, do you have enough friends, money, clothes, technology?

So.....HOW exactly do we do it?

The answer.........You just do it - Today.

Just today.  And then tomorrow, do it....tomorrow.  Without worrying about it....Today.

Jesus hit this spot on when he told us - "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Over the holidays (or just life) it is so incredibly easy to get overwhelmed.  You have finals, shopping, cooking, guests......finals, shopping, cooking and guests again.  It can be super stressful.  I think if we take the time to focus on just TODAY - I think it might help.  It allows us to let yesterday go - and not worry about what tomorrow will bring.  According to Jesus, today has enough trouble of its own.  ; )

Take a deep breath.  The only thing you have to do today.....is today.

I love you.  Always will.

T

T's Weekly Thought: What A Gift

com·pas·sion (km-pshn): Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.

Last week after the long weekend - great holiday, I was tired.  We had traveled from St. Louis all day Saturday - and after 10.5 hours in the car - I was ready to get out - just have a little bit of space.  As I put my kids to bed - my patience waned.  We quickly said a prayer, I blew kisses and said good night and swiftly shut the door.  As I shut the door I heard Anna-Prin say, "Geez, she didn't even give us kisses."  I opened the door, and said, "You know what guys, I'm sorry.  I am super cranky tonight.  I'm tired.  Haven't been what you deserve tonight.  You come home from vacation and just get dinner and get to go to bed.  I come home - need to sweep, clean up, unpack, do mounds of laundry.  Sometimes mom just wants someone to feed her dinner and put her to bed.  But that's not your fault - and so I am sorry I was cranky tonight.  You deserved better from me."

Carter chimes in, "Mom, let's trade.  We will get up and sweep and unpack and do laundry and you go to bed.  Let us help."

I went to give them all proper kisses and told them how much I loved them.

I have learned from a great counselor that ultimately, we all just want to be understood.  Heard.  For someone to have compassion.

Compassion is hard.  Compassion is hard because it's so much easier to NOT understand.  To NOT help.  To NOT say I'm sorry.  To let pride win.  We would rather be right than have compassion. 

When someone takes the time to show compassion - to understand what you might be going through, YOUR side of the story, your life - my gosh, doesn't that feel good?  When someone asks you how you are doing - and really cares about the answer.

I think compassion is one of the greatest gifts we can give to each other.  And frankly, I don't think people have to be suffering in order for us to give it to them.  I think we can just have more compassion. 

Every single person has a story.  Every single person is going through something.  Big or small - we all are.  We are ALL worried about something, someone.  We all feel insecure about one thing or another.  We all feel inadequate.  Overwhelmed at times.  What if someone showed you compassion for all those things.  And even better -what if you did for them.

Have you ever considered what it's REALLY like to be your dad?  Mom?  Sibling?  Special needs?  Abused?  Addicted?  Lose someone you love?  Have a learning disability?  Depressed?  Have serious money problems?  A teenager?

I promise you, you know people who are going through something, whether you know it or not. 

Maybe if we looked on each other with a little more compassion, we would have better relationships.  Trust each other more.  Be more honest about our needs - and be more willing to let others help.

Your compassion can be an incredible gift to someone who isn't expecting it.  My son melted me.  In that moment, I was understood - heard - someone reached out instead of getting angry, hurt, taking something personal. Gosh, that was nice.

Each one of us has the ability to be compassionate.  To give that gift to someone who needs it today.  Reach out to someone.  Lighten their burden.  Try to see and understand where they might be coming from..........love them, in spite of them.

What a gift your compassion could be.

I love you.  Always will.

T

T's Weekly Thought: Every Last One

Last Friday I was at Preston Hollow Elementary where I was invited to a nice lunch by the Principal of the school. It was a lovely lunch given in honor of the teachers and volunteers at the school. As we sat there eating, the principal stood to say a few words about his love for the school, learning, the children, his staff......and the gratitude he felt to work in such a wonderful school - a school that you know is different, just by walking the halls. He got a little choked up. And frankly, so did I. After a beautiful prayer, we all sat and enjoyed this really nice meal together.

As I walked out of that school that day, I was so grateful. Grateful that my kids go to such a great school. With such great teachers. Have made such great friends. And are led by such a Godly man as their Principal.

Here's the really funny part. Or maybe not so funny.....

A little over a year and a half ago I went to visit that school as a "potential" place for my kiddos to go when they arrived here from Ghana. When I went to the school I sat down with the counselor and listened as she proudly told me all about Preston Hollow Elementary. I listened, was gracious - but as I walked out, called my husband and immediately said, "NOPE!" There is no way they are going to that school. It is WAY too diverse, too many kids are bused in, we don't know what kind of homes these kids are from, etc. etc. etc.

You can imagine.

I made RIDICULOUS judgments (the very ones I preach to YOU to stop making) about these kids, their families, their homes. And immediately put myself, my family, my children in "another category". This school was nice for "them" - but not so much for me.

Funny how life works out.

Our kids arrived last summer - about 2 weeks before school started. There were no choices or "alternatives". Private schools weren't taking applications 2 weeks before school started - and frankly, it just wasn't an option.

So there I was, first day of school, pulling in to Preston Hollow Elementary. With all my

judgment. All my assumptions.

YUK.

Long story short. I was dead wrong. I was so off the mark about "that school" and "those bused in kids" and "those families", etc. etc. And shame on me for ever even thinking in those terms. In those ways.

Every single Friday now I volunteer at my kid’s school. Yep. I actually CHOOSE to spend my day off there volunteering at "that school" serving lunch and picking up trash after "those kids". And let me tell you something, I love it. I absolutely love it. They are the cutest, sweetest, kindest - most humble kids I have ever met. And wow are they cool. I love their families. I love their parents. I love the sweet community.

My gosh we are sad, silly people sometimes. I mean, honestly, how many more times do I have to hear "we are all created in the image of God" to actually BELIEVE that we are ALL created in the image of God? And how limiting it is to our life and the potential we have to love to place judgments on people that just don't deserve it?

I am so grateful that God continues to teach me - or maybe that through His love, I am reminded of a better way. While I am truly ashamed of my judgment, I walk away grateful. Grateful to be reminded that making judgments on people we really know nothing about is nothing short of unkind. Real unkind actually. There should be little room in our hearts for them. Every single one of God's beautiful creatures deserves a chance.

Every last one.

I love you. Always will.

T

T's Weekly Thought: Jesus at the Finish

Sunday was really awesome. 

A bunch of people who love Tom Lueder and the Lueder family got together to run for DFW Purple Stride to raise money and awareness for pancreatic cancer.  Most of you know Tom passed away due to the disease less than a year ago.  So Sunday was awesome.

Sunday was also sad.

As I walked the 5k - I couldn't help but look around at all the signs on people's backs.....

Running in memory of:  my friend, my aunt, my brother, my daddy.

Those signs were tough.  And even though I didn't know the people, my heart still went out to them - for what they and their loved ones were going through.  The toughest one for me was the one on Tom's brothers back.  It simply said, "My brother".

As we were driving home I couldn't help but tell my kids how proud I was of them - and grateful that they tried so hard for Tom.  Carter said, "Mom, he was there.  And he won the race with the angels carrying him."  We were at a light and I turned around from the front seat of my car to tell Carter that I thought he was exactly right.  There was no doubt that Tom was there and had won the race.  Carter said, "Of course he won mom - he was running to Jesus at the finish!"

There is no doubt in my mind that Jesus was at the finish line.  And not just for the race Sunday.  But for the race Tom ran his whole life.  Tom ran every single day of his life.  And even though a disease took his body, it did not take his spirit - that no doubt, ran to our Savior the day he left this earth.

I find enormous comfort in Carter's words.

And.........in the words of Isaiah where it says, "But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."

The only sure thing in this life is death.  And while that can be a very scary thought - and incredibly sad - our hope and our joy and our peace in the midst of it all is that on that day, we WILL find new strength.  We will soar on wings like eagles.  And we will run.  And for those who remain faithful, our Savior will be waiting with open arms to welcome us home.

Eternal life is a precious gift our Savior gave us.  To one day, win our race - and find Jesus at the finish line.

I love you.  Always will.

T

T's Weekly Thought: THAT is a lie

Happy Day Everyone!    Hope you are all doing terrific!

This last weekend something happened that I guess I always knew would happen -but never wanted......and no matter how much I've thought about it - nothing could prepare me to hear it.

My son, Carter had spent the night out with a friend - while he was at some friends - some more friends (people that Carter didn't know) joined in to play.  There was a soccer game and Carter accidentally hit the shin of one of the older/unfamiliar boys.  Well -this boy decided to just go off!  He called him names - bad names. Names that have to do with the color of his skin.  Names he had never heard before.  Names I have always dreaded he - or any of my children would be called......that somehow Topher or I would have to explain.

The next day, Carter's friend's mom pulled me aside to tell me about it and how sorry she was.  I calmly listened.........

As we got in the car - we all talked about the incident.  About the names.  About the words.  I asked Carter what he thought.  He said that he told the boy that it didn't matter what he thought.   They were lies - and that he just must feel bad about himself to say such horrible things to somebody else..........

HECK YES!!!!!!

Carter was right on. 

It was a wonderful teaching moment.  A wonderful moment to remind ALL of my kids that the only true thing about us is what God says about us.......and God said everything not just by his words - but by His life and by His death. 

SO.......why can't we all do that? If I could just bottle up what Carter said and sell it and somehow that would make everyone feel better - WOW - I'd be rich.  Because every single one of us at some point or another listens to lies that other people say about us.  People call us fat or ugly or poor or stupid - or not good enough - or not fast enough or not smart enough or popular enough - and the list goes on and on and on and you want to know something TRUE??

EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE THINGS IS A LIE.

And I think when we believe them - it absolutely breaks our Savior's heart because you are so LOVED and so PERFECT and so GOOD that YOU, yes YOU were worth dying for.

In the Psalms it says that we were perfectly and wonderfully made.  Every single last one of us.  Of course we were.  I mean.........you really think God "forgot" something??  I can just hear it now - "OH SHOOT!  I just put Tova in her mommy's belly but I forgot to give her the perfect body and a perfect smile and dang it!!! I meant to give her really blonde hair - not brown! And gosh darn it - I left some of her brain out - she was meant to be WAAAY smarter than I made her....." 

Something tells me......that just didn't happen.  It didn't happen because God got it right.

God got YOU right.

And so if and WHEN someone comes along with a big fat LIE that YOU or parts of you are a mistake.......you need to remember something - and this is really really important......here it is:

What someone negatively or unkindly thinks or says about you says WAAAAAY more about them then it ever does about you.  Period.

And here's why......God calls us to love.  And God calls us to not judge.  And God calls us to be US- in spite of others - or what they think about US and who God made us to be.

Be you.  Be the person God created you to be.  Be PROUD of that.  And embrace the fact that ANYONE who tells you that THAT person that God created isn't "right" or good or somehow "wrong".........well, THAT is a lie and it says way more about that person than it does you.

You were created in the image of God.  Period.

I love you.  Always will.

T

T's Weekly Thought: Suicide

Over 6 years ago when I was hired at our church to work with the youth, there was a word......a situation.....something that I prayed I would never ever have to deal with. 

That "thing" was suicide.

I felt like I could handle almost any other situation as a youth minister.

But suicide......that's where I really struggle.

I struggle for those who find themselves in so much hurt, so much pain - so little hope - that they believe the only way out is death.

And I really really struggle for those left behind.  I can't imagine the questions......

Why?

How could they do it?

Wasn't I worth staying for?

Why didn't they ask for help? 

Get help?

Why would they give up?

Lose the fight?

What about me?

I have avoided this topic for a long time because I always thought it was only applicable to a few people.  Unfortunately, what I've learned over the last few years is that there are very few people in this community that escape without the unbearable sting of suicide.

Let me start by saying that I don't have any answers.  I am not going to pretend for one moment that I understand that kind of pain or hopelessness.  As difficult as my own road has been at times, I have to admit that suicide was never a real option for me. 

So....what do we do in the midst of it?  How do we get through it?  And more importantly, how do we help others avoid it? 

Again, I don't want to pretend for a second that I have any answers.  I feel so unqualified to address this issue.......at the same time.....it is an issue.

I think the first thing we have to do is understand that suicide has little room for judgment.  I know a lot of people use the word "selfish" when they talk about the person who committed suicide.  I guess suicide may appear selfish......but I have to think there is way more to it that someone acting out in selfishness.  I think it's much bigger than that.  Much deeper than that......and a whole lot more painful than that.

I think suicide, like any death, reminds us how precious moments with the ones we love are.  And how we shouldn't take a single one of them for granted.  Ever.

I think suicide is also a reminder that we never really really know.  We never REALLY know what someone is going through.  We don't fully know their pain, insecurities, fears, regrets, emptiness, loneliness.......heartaches.  And because we never REALLY know.....the only response we should ever have is love. 

Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying that love heals all wounds, takes away all the pain, heals every illness - but I can't imagine that it hurts.

I've said this before - but there is a quote I love.....it says, "When we begin to understand, only then can we love."  When we try to understand people, talk to people, listen to people.......it's a whole lot easier to love people. 

Suicide just breaks my heart.  As I hug those close to me who have dealt with it - in that moment I imagine what it would feel like - to be that person's wife, daughter, sister, mom......and I can't help but well up in tears and pray for the questions, the hurt.......the pain.

My deepest prayer is that before any one of you considers suicide as an option - you reach out - just one more time......cry.  Cry loud for help - come to me, to your mom, your best friend......anyone you trust to help you get through that dark moment so that you can once again find hope.  The hope that our precious Savior gave us.  He promises he came to give us life.  Life abundant.  I believe in that hope because I have seen that hope shine through the darkest moments of my own life.  He will never leave you.  Never forsake you........

Ever.

I love you.  Always will.

T

T's Weekly Thought: Live for the One

So.....the other day I got the following note from one of my daughter Anna-Prin's teachers:

"I have to tell you, Anna Prin made me smile so wide in class on Monday. They were working on vocab and definitions. I asked if anyone knew what healed meant and after some explaining from different students, Anna Prin blurts out, "Oh yea like the lepers in the bible!" Then not longer after that, we were discussing fiction and folktales. I asked,"Do you really believe that chipmunks have a stripe down their backs because one was scratched by a bear a long time ago?"  Anna Prin says,"Oh no!""God just made them that way." Not many kids can or would do that these days. I love it.....just love it. Hope you do as well."

I was so dang proud of my daughter.  I read her the email and then asked Anna-Prin....."do you know why that's such a big deal?"  She said....."No mommy, why?"  I told her it's because a lot of people in the world are afraid to talk about Jesus.....and she says,"Why mom? He died for us."

He did die for us. And because of that love we should never fear.  Never fear living a life of appreciation through actions and our words for Him.   

Live for the One who died for You.

I love you.  Always will.

T

T's Weekly Thought: What Will They Say?

Hey Everyone!

This last week I had a nice long lunch with a great friend.  I really admire this friend.  She's so beautiful inside and out.  My favorite thing about this friend is the perspective I am reminded of when I am with her.  We were discussing how hard it is to raise kids today. How to keep perspective in the midst of a world and society that often times seems to lack one.   My friend has two daughters - and we couldn't help but talk about the pressure among girls for the perfect body.  To be skinny.  No fat.  Something tells me that even though guys don't talk about it as much - the pressure is the same. Big muscles.  Strong.  Lean.

Then she said something I really liked....."I mean seriously T, I've been to a lot of funerals. NO ONE says......'Oh gosh, she was amazing.  Kind, giving - and man - she was sooooo skinny!  Great body!'"

She's exactly right.  I haven't heard anything like that at someone’s funeral either......

Something really cool happened tonight.  My family and I were out to dinner at a barbecue joint and standing right in front of us was Nelson Cruz.  Now let me tell you something........my family LOVES baseball.  And so......as you can imagine......we FLIPPED!

It looked like he was with his family......mom, dad, maybe a couple of brothers, sister, a cousin?  Not really sure.  But one thing is for sure.......he was a total and complete gentleman.  This guy - who seemingly has it all - was more than just an all-star MVP baseball player tonight.  I couldn't help but watch him as he ate.  He was a gentle giant with his mom.  As he finished eating.....a line formed - and this All-Star took pictures and signed autographs for EVERY single person that wanted one.  Here's what really got me....he handed his money clip to someone with him - and as if this person knew exactly what to do - every single staff person in the restaurant that passed was given a $100 bill from Cruz's clip. He stayed until the last person in line had gone through - and as he walked out......the place erupted.  Everyone clapped. 

It really was an incredible moment.

Incredible because Cruz didn't have to do ANY of that.  I mean - it's NELSON CRUZ.  He could have ordered, ate - walked out.  Never acknowledging all the Ranger caps in the room - dying to be signed.  All the kids (especially MINE!) - wide - eyed.......Praying that he would notice that they noticed him.  That he was kind to his family.   And so giving to the staff of the restaurant.  

What my friend said to me hit me again tonight.  Don't get me wrong.....I am sure to a whole lot of people Cruz will be remembered for his power homers, huge muscles, incredible skills.  Rightfully so.  But he obviously cares about a whole lot more than just being a baseball legend......and, my assumption is, he would like to be remembered for more than his RBI's.  As much as I love watching Cruz play baseball, I choked up watching him get a picture with my kids.....and being so incredibly generous with the wait staff.  So while baseball has got to be important to him - there's more to his story.  His value system.  Priorities. Legacy.  Something tells me......those are the things those who are closest to him, really love him for.....know about.  Value.  Will remember........

If I were to die tomorrow - I would like to think that I would be known as a decent Youth Minister of a large Methodist Church.  That I worked hard.  Accomplished a lot.

But at my funeral........I hope they would mostly say that my family was everything to me.  That I was a big fan of the underdog.  I helped people.  Was compassionate.  I tried my best in everything I did.  I was a good friend and loving sister.  A great mom who was crazy about her husband.  And that I tried my best to glorify my Savior.

I hope they would say those things because I hope that is what my life reflects. Of course shallow things seep in - I worry about my hair, my house, my body, what other people think - but my prayer is that those are fleeting thoughts/worries and that I actually spend time on those things I deem most important.  The things I would like to be remembered for.......

Bottom line.....I hate to be the one to tell you - but at your funeral - they aren't going to talk about your body.  Your house.  Your hair.  Your skin. Your muscles. Your car or how skinny you are.

They are going to talk about your soul, your heart........and the way you made them feel.

What will they say about you?

I love you.  Always will.

T

Spring Break Mission Trip!

Hey Youth!  Bill here, and I’m so excited to announce that we have opened registration for this years Spring Break Mission Trip!

This year, from March 11-16,  HPUMC Youth will road trip to San Antonio, Texas to help underprivileged people transform their houses to make them safe, dry, and warm.  Many of these homeowners are living in houses that have holes in the roof or rotten walls, and so we will be doing a good mix of flooring, sheet rocking, painting, and even some roofing for the older kids!  Since San Antonio has some of the highest per-capita deficient housing levels in the state, there will certainly be a lot of work to do.  This year, we are working through an excellent ministry group that is used to housing large teams like ours – we will sleep at their dorms, eat meals cooked by their staff, and worship in their sanctuary!  I just got back from a scouting trip to check the place out and meet some of the homeowners, and I think this might be the most excited I’ve been for a mission trip in a very long while – our hosts were incredibly hospitable, and the homeowners were so gracious and humbled by the work being done.  One homeowner had picture albums of every team that had worked on his house – these were his prized possessions, and he could tell stories about each of them.  We will work all day, have amazing worship in the evenings, and then get to spend some great time bonding as a community at night.  The early bird registration cost is only $520 if you sign up before the deadline– that’s cheaper than last year!

The HPUMC youth staff is coming – are you?  

For all the details and for registration please follow the link below.

http://www.hpumc.org/pages/youth-mission-trip-payment

T's Weekly Thought: Did You See Jesus?

So I am FAR from the perfect mom......BUT.....most nights I try really hard to read from Bible and pray together with my kiddos.

The other night all 3 of my kids were cuddled close while I was reading from their children's Bible.  We read a couple of chapters and then - per usual - said our prayers. 

After the prayer, George (my six year old pumpkin) says, "MOM!!!  Did you see Jesus during the story?"  I paused......"No Georgie, I didn't".  He responds, "Well he was sitting RIGHT THERE (pointing to the open spot on my bed)!  You totally missed out Mommy.  Maybe next time." 

Yeah Georgie........maybe next time.

WHAT!!!!!!????  JESUS!!!  Sitting on my bed? Hanging out during bedtime stories? 

According to George - no doubt. He was there.

I tucked them in and just took an enormous deep breath.  Was Jesus really there?  And if he was.......why didn't I see him?  Was I too distracted?  Was I worried about the time?  Making lunches?  What was on the "to-list" for tomorrow?  How could Georgie see something that was SO real??

I thought about what George has on his mind.  Uhhhhh......nothing.  My little guy is 100% in the moment.  If you are talking to him - he is talking to you.  If he's in school.  He's in school.  If he's reading the Bible -he's reading the Bible.  His mind is free from worry, clutter, noise, distractions.  My little guy is lucky - he is right where he is. 

If you think about it......why wouldn't Jesus be there?  The VERY last thing He shares with us in Matthew is, "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of age."

According to Matthew - this is what Jesus left us with.......I will be with you.  Forever.

So......if you think about it......is it all that shocking that George saw Him with us?  I mean.....really......it's almost MORE strange if he wasn't. 

I don't know about you - but I compartmentalize God.  The Bible was written.  Jesus lived.  Died.  And now we gotta figure it out......right?

Actually.....not at all.

Why would God and Jesus spend so much time with people in the Old and New Testament to leave us hanging in this day and time? Why would a loving God leave us to go about this crazy life alone?

He wouldn't. 

The power of the Holy Spirit is real.  Jesus is real. We are so incredibly loved and cared for.  Our Lord is forever aware of our needs, our desires, our lives......and I believe with everything inside me - DESPERATELY seeks to be a part of it.......

Even, a sweet simple bed time story.

Did you see Jesus???

I love you.  Always will.

T

T's Weekly Thought: As I Have Loved You

People are funny. 

When I went to college I had no idea what I wanted to do for a living.....all I knew is I was incredibly fascinated by people.  So I studied Sociology.  I needed to know more about people.  How it all worked....and why we do what we do....."human activity" I remember one professor called it.

I was reminded of the "geek" in me when Gregg Medlyn at the Race to Nowhere panel talked about how each one of us are born "self esteem neutral".  I found this so fascinating that I asked him more about it......what does that mean exactly??

Come to find out.....apparently we are all born feeling the same way about ourselves.  We have NO idea that we are rich, poor, funny, smart, big, small, shy.....and even if we did - we could care less - because we have no idea what those "things" mean.  Things that one day.....might define us.

So.......apparently, as we grow older......and we learn more - we start to figure out from different people - parents, youth ministers, friends, teachers, coaches, people in the hall - who we are.  And somehow.....along with that - our value.  So while we are clueless tots - somewhere along the way - we learned.  We are no longer "neutral" - rather -very aware of what we think of ourselves.  My guess is most of this comes from those around us.

It's hard for me to believe as a youth minister that we are born "self esteem neutral" - especially when I meet with so many of you - and there is nothing neutral about how you feel about who you are. Most of you (us) are incredibly hard on yourselves.  We look in the mirror, we are benched for a game, we get our progress reports, someone says something unkind to us, we make a bad decision - and well, there's nothing neutral about the way we feel.

I think about this and I can't help but think about something Jesus said......

 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

It's interesting to me that Jesus chooses to say this....this way.  I mean - he could of just said, "Hey- love each other - okay?"

But, I actually think he's way more intentional in the way he goes about it......he says....."AS I HAVE LOVED YOU.......LOVE ONE ANOTHER." 

Most of the time I think I do a decent job loving people - but if I'm honest......does my love towards others emulate that of Christ's love towards me??

Ah......that would be a negative.

And I can't help but take it a step further and say......gosh - if we ALL did that......would we all still view ourselves as we did when we were just peanuts.  Would all our labels be gone....?  Or if we had them......WAY more tolerated?  And maybe even beyond tolerated, but LOVED.....? 

Jesus took time for all the people that no one else took time for.  He invested in people who didn't think they were worth much.  He loved the unloved......and because he loved them that way......their lives were changed.

I know it's hard to look at others, our family, ourselves......and just love.  I think that's why when Jesus came - he left us with two BIG commandments.  I think he realized it would take everything inside of us to somehow just do that.  Love Him.  Love others.  If we could JUST do that......just TRY to love others the way Christ loves you (me)........

It would change everything......

I love you.  Always will.

T

Second Sunday-A Night Of Worship

Second Sunday

     So about a month ago we had our first ever Second Sunday night worship.  In case you don't know what I'm talking about, Second Sunday is a time to escape everything for an hour once a month to sing, pray, meditate, or just listen while we sing worship songs with acoustic guitars and simple percussion.  This is a totally stripped down night of worship for anyone who wants to.  It's not a "youth" thing, a "college" thing, or a "young adult" thing.  It's for anyone and everyone who wants to gather and worship God.
     I love a big band.  I love lights and production.  I love a great message...but sometimes it's nice to just escape that and simply gather and sing.
     During Second Sunday back in September I was reminded of how rarely I get the opportunity to go back to my "first love".  For me, my "first love" is sitting around singing songs to God, about God.  For me, it's rejuvenating.  Second Sunday may not be your thing.  Music and singing may not be your "first love".  But I think we all need times of quiet to escape from the world and just think about God.  If you haven't found a time to do that, I hope you'll join us this Sunday October 9th in the Youth Basement of Highland Park United Methodist.
     Let us know if you have any questions.  We are so excited for this Sunday and we hope you are too.

Andrew

What you can do...

Check out the Facebook event and invite a friend.
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=254614944574270 

Check out last months blog about Second Sunday and pass the word.
http://hpumcstudents.blogspot.com/2011/09/second-sunday-night-of-worship.html

Join us on Sunday October 9th from 6-7pm in the Youth Basement of HPUMC.

T's Weekly Thought: Where Your Treasure Is...

Hey Everyone!

As you can imagine - some of your parents come talk to me from time to time asking questions like, "what can I do to get my son/daughter involved in church?"  "should I make my kids go to church?" "how do I make church a priority?".

I can't help but think of my own upbringing where church wasn't a weekly decision.  A "choice".  Nope.  Every Sunday that's just what my family did.  In fact, it was the ONLY guarantee in our weekly schedule.  Sundays my family went to church.  So whether we were tired, or had homework, out late Saturday night or our teams were playing games - it didn't matter.......my family was in church.  And that was that.

Unfortunately, it's not always fun to tell parents that I think church and their youth's relationship with Christ is a matter of priority.  The bottom line is.......we make time for those things most important to us.  So.....if we say that our family is important - we spend time with them, we make time for them, we make them a priority.  And if our relationship with God is important......well, same thing here.  Then it shows by our priorities.  Not by what's convenient.

There's a great passage in Matthew 6 - where Jesus speaks to this. He says, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

I think Jesus is saying......spend time on what matters.  What's lasting.  What counts.

I have parents and youth tell me all the time that they/their kids just don't have time to go to church.  That WOW is RIGHT in the middle of homework and Sundays is their only day to sleep in - their club soccer games are on Sundays......and 2 hours on Wednesdays for church is ridiculous.

My only response is......how convenient was the cross? 

Now I know Jesus didn't have the pressures and the schedules that we do today......but something tells me that even if he did - his life would have looked exactly the same.  He would have lived his life to make others better.  He would have only showed love.  Spent time with his family.  And he would still die so that we might live. 

What are your treasures?  What do you value most?  Are those things honorable?  And does your life reflect those answers? 

My prayer is that we can evaluate our lives.  What we value most.  And then have the courage to live accordingly.  No matter the cost.

I love you.  Always will.

T

LiveLove

      

     We here at the youth department knew we wanted youth to have the opportunity to live out their faith every week in a real life, serving, loving way. We wanted them to LiveLove. So about six months ago an announcement was made that we would kick off a service opportunity where Sr. High youth could LiveLove every Sunday morning. Since then, almost 200 of our youth have started serving regularly in the Cornerstone Cafe, in leading small groups in Children’s, Confirmation, and with the Jr High Thrive. LiveLove youth are greeters, are working lights, are running sound, and much more. LiveLove is literally changing the church, because so many amazing youth are being the church. 

     

     “My name is Payton Stewart and I am a senior at Highland Park High School and participate in the Live Love program. I work with the second graders by helping them come in the classroom and sit down, stay focused during the group lesson, and help lead a small group. I love being able to help these kids grow in and explore their relationships with God as well as trying to provide a good example for them. If they can see how a teenager makes time for God in her schedule, maybe they will remember this when they get busy, now or in the future. I also like getting to know kids I would otherwise never get to know. It is so joyful to have a kid ask me to sit with them, be in my small group, or even simply remember my name. They teach me as much as I teach then. They help remind me that sometimes the simple answers are the best answers. I truly love being with these kids every Sunday morning. While sometimes it is hard to keep the kids on track, I know they have learned something new about God or their faith when they leave church.” Payton Stewart

     “When I was fresh out of Confirmation and on my way to becoming a part of the Jr. High program at HPUMC, I was so intimidated by the older kids and the youth leaders and the church in general, that my faith began to weaken. I didn't go to church very often, I didn’t pray very much, and I never really thought about God. About a year after confirmation, my friend Emily told me to sign up for the spring break mission trip, so I decided I might as well go. On this trip, I was able to get to know some older girls who led my small group, and they helped me turn everything around. They showed me God’s love and they helped me to grow stronger in my faith all the way throughout my junior year in High School, and now that I am a senior I want to do the same. Livelove is a great way to be a role model in the church, whether it’s leading a 7th or 8th grade small group, or helping out with elementary kids, or even working in the sound booth. It is a way to give back to the church, as well as help others. I don’t know where I would be now if I had never met those girls, and I know LiveLove will provide great role models, just like them.”Caroline Nelson