Weekly Thought from T - In Process

Week of 11-29-10

Hey Everyone! 

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

I know I am an old woman to many of you - so - for those of you who aren't familiar with Andre Agassi - let me just start by saying he is one of the greatest tennis players of all time.  I recently finished his book "OPEN" and really loved it.  He has been through a lot in his life - and in this book seemed to be really honest with people - not only about tennis, but his life.  Andre spent most of his teenage years pretty angry - and conflicted.........he said something about that I really liked.  Here goes:

"Several sportswriters muse about my transformation from youth to adult - and that word rankles.  I think it misses the mark.  Transformation is change from on thing to another, but I started as nothing.  I didn't transform, I formed.  When I broke into tennis, I was like most kids: I didn't know who I was, and I rebelled at being told by older people.  I think older people make this mistake all the time with younger people, treating them as finished products when in fact they're in process.  It's like judging a tennis match before it's over, and I've come from behind too often, and had too many opponents come roaring back against me, to think that's a good idea."

I have to say, as a new mom - this hit me pretty hard.  I think I do this all the time to my kids.  I expect them to ALWAYS behave, use their manners, not act TOO silly.  I dream for them about what they are going to be when they grow up.  I tell them what foods they will eat - and determine when they are hungry and when they are full.  I think some times I live through them - like I didn't get this as a kid - or get to do that as a kid - and so I push what I feel like I missed and/or wanted on to them - when really, it might not be what they are missing or wanting at all.

I don't think this is just a parent to kid thing though.  I have heard so many of you say - I wish my mom was like ________________'s mom (you fill in the blank).  I wish my dad made more money.  I wish we went camping as a family like the so and so's or vacationed at _________________.  I wish my mom was funnier.  Smarter.  I wish my dad played more sports, went to more games.  I wish both of them were way more cool.

What the heck is wrong with who we all are?  JUST THE WAY WE ARE!

My daughter loves that song that says, "Cuz girl you're amazing......just the way you are!"  She sings it REALLY loud from the back seat every time it comes on.

I think I know why she likes it.  And why I like it.

Because we are amazing.  Just the way we are.

And aren't we all - no matter how old - "in process".......far from a "finished product"?? 

So - why are we all wishing our lives away??  Wishing those closest/most important to us, would change to be who WE want or think they should be instead of what they were created to be? 

Where is our grace for them? 

Our patience for their process? 

Our unconditional love?

LOVE WITHOUT JUDGEMENT.  LOVE WITHOUT CONDITION. 

What would our families look like if we really just appreciated where we all are in our "process"? 

Stop wishing. 

Start enjoying. 

I think that's the way God intended it to be.

I love you.  Always will.

T

Weekly Thought from T - THIS PLACE

Week of 11-22-10

Hey Everyone!

So.....some of you know that my husband Topher spent the better half of last week in the hospital.  He had a blood clot that settled into one of his kidneys.  It was painful, scary, and unexpected.  He's home now and okay- but things have changed a little bit.  He has to have shots, take medicine, and think more about what he eats, drinks and how much he exercises.

A week ago this was the furthest thing from our minds.  A week ago we were thinking about how much life costs, how busy we were, what was on our list to check off before the end of the week and the kids big birthday party yesterday, which friends we were going to spend time with over the weekend, how we were going to get it all in.

And then BAM!  Just like that.........our worries became very different.  Very real.  Not that the other ones didn't exist - but when you are thinking about your life - and/or quality of that life - all the other worries fade........to black.

Instead of thinking about bills I can't help but wonder what would this look like if the blood clot went to his brain?  Or heart?

And now - instead of worrying about when am I going to have time for yoga this week - I was worried about getting out of the hospital before the twins first birthday party, Thanksgiving - and about my husbands quality of life.  Will Topher get to exercise anymore - play golf the way he used to - be there for his kids and family the way he wants to......

In the middle of it all I couldn't help but jot down something in my phone.

THIS PLACE. 
Why are we living for the next and fail to enjoy the one we are in??

I mean we are a MESS - okay I am a MESS.  I can't help but live my life for every moment that is coming.  Not the one I am living.  And I couldn't help but realize how you might do the same.

We are working so dang hard to BECOME the best.  Smarter, faster, richer, stronger.  Life will be complete when____________ (you fill in that blank).

When we have more friends
When so and so likes me
When my parents change
When my kids change
When we have more money
When our house is bigger
A better car
When I don't have to work any more
When I make the basketball team
When I'm taller, faster, blonder, stronger, skinnier
 
And we fail to appreciate

The amazing friends we have
The peace in loving yourself first
Appreciating the gift of parents and who they are - not who you want them to be
Appreciating the gift of your kids and who they are - not who you want them to be
If money is your problem, you don't have a problem
You have a house
92% of the world doesn't have a car
A lot of people in this world would die for your job AND income
Teams don't define You.  YOU define YOU.
Our health. The beautiful, unique, healthy body that God gave you.
My gosh we take so much for granted.  It's like every day we need to put something on our mirror - tape a piece of paper that says - THIS PLACE.  APPRECIATE THIS PLACE.

People always say, "It could be worse" - and it's usually the last thing I want to hear when I am in the middle of something tough - but it's so true.  It could.

We have been blessed with so much - and yet we seem to be always looking at - STARING at actually - all of our flaws, weaknesses, the things we want - but don't even really need. 

My friends - try to enjoy THIS place.  Wherever you are. 

Life can change in an instant.  It really can.  It's almost scary how quickly.  SO.....enjoy this place.  Relish in this place.  Love this place.  Appreciate this place. 

Thank God - for this place..........

because if you really think about it - it's pretty beautiful - and we have so very much to be grateful for.

Happy Thanksgiving.

I love you.  Always will.

T

Weekly Thought From T - It's Magic! - Week of 11-14-10

Hey Everyone!!

Hope you had a great weekend and are ready for yet - another week!  Only one more til Thanksgving!  : ))

So Saturday night I was out to dinner with my family - and we were having a great discussion about Jesus and heaven - you know every day table talk ; ).  Anyway, in the middle of the conversation Georgie bursts out with, "Mommy!  In heaven if you need to go (enter 5 years old's version of "bathroom" here) then Jesus just uses his magic and you don't have to go anymore!!!"  After I fell over laughing for a solid 2 minutes - I said, "You know Georgie, I think you might be right!"

Georgie may be on to something........because if you think about it - Jesus has all kinds of magic.  He healed people, raised them from the dead, he even died himself and then came back to life!

The greatest of Jesus magic - is what he did for us.  He has so much "magic" that He makes all our sin disappear.  It's amazing....and that is truly magic.....!  Day after day he gives us hope!  Not only in others - but especially ourselves.

Sometimes I worry that this "magic" that Jesus so freely gave gives us an excuse to sin - rather than a reason to change. 

If we look closely in the Bible and learn about the people that Jesus spent time with/forgave- the amazing thing was - they not only wanted to be forgiven - but they wanted to be different from that moment on.  So instead of Zacchaeus or the woman at the well saying, "hey thanks for spending time with me Jesus and forgiving me - now if you'll excuse me, I'll get back to my old ways..." they thanked Christ - and then completely turned their lives around.

Now THAT'S magic!

Christ died so that we can be forgiven - and then CHANGE.  In John 8 He uses a woman who commits adultry as an example.  Everyone wants to stone her to death - Jesus picks her up - dusts her off - and tell everyone else to knock it off!  Then looks at her and says, "Go and sin no more".

Go - and sin no more.

Christ did not die on the cross so that we could do and live and be whatever we want and in the end say, "Well, thanks Jesus for dying for me so I could do whatever I wanted".  Christ died so that we could understand that THAT kind of love REALLY does exist - and that kind of love changes people for the better.  FOREVER.

Christ wants us to use his magic - that's why He did what He did - but don't use it as an excuse for what you do - use it to change who you are......


I love you. Always will.

T

Weekly Thought from T - Bake Them A Cake - Week of 11-8-10

Happy Day Everyone!

Hope you are all doing really great!  I can't tell you how awesome it was to see you yesterday!  My gosh I have missed you! 

The other day I was out jogging and I ran in to a guy who was walking a German shepherd puppy.  I had to stop and pet it - it was so cute!  I told the guy how precious the dog was - he replied, "Oh gosh he is being NAUGHTY this morning!  Isn't minding me at all!"  I started back on my jog and yelled back - "Well, aren't we all a bit naughty sometimes??"

I kept on my jog and recalled a great story a friend told me.  She told me she recently bought a car - and was really really upset because she felt like the guy she bought it from really took advantage of her.  She felt like she was paying too much - and she was really ticked!  She went to one of the maintenance guys at our church for advice.  His name is Royce. She told him the story......and here was Royce's advice, "I know what you need to do.......bake him a cake!"  She said, "Uhhhhh,excuse me?"  He said, "Yep!  Bake him a cake!  Bake him a cake and then take it to him.  Look him in the eye and tell him you forgive him."

WHAT??  A CAKE??

Let me tell you something.........that's some darn good advice.

And how sad how surprising that response is.  Shocking, frankly.

I mean - it's so much easier to puff our chest, fold our arms, stick our nose in the air and talk about how right we are and how wrong someone else is.

Back to the German shepherd......

Aren't we all a bit naughty sometimes?  Don't we all at some point need forgiveness?  And don't we all at some point need to forgive?

So if we are ALL naughty and at some point ALL need forgiveness - what keeps us from forgiving others?  From baking that cake and telling someone you forgive them?

Right after Christ taught us how to pray in Matthew 6 - he had this to say about forgiveness:

"For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. "

Ouch.

I mean - I'm not sure he could be any clearer. 

Afterall, aren't we all a bit naughty sometimes?

Forgive.  It's what we have to do.  And I promise you this- when you wrong someone, disappoint, let someone down or hurt someones feelings - you're going to hope and pray they do the same for you.......

I love you.  Always will.

T

Weekly Thought from T - That's Just the Way it Goes - Week of 11-1-10

HELLOOOOOOOOOOO!

I can't tell you guys how much I missed you!  It's so nice to be back in to the swing of things!  Quick update on the kids - they are doing fantastic!  The twins (Anna-Prin and Carter) are in 1st grade at Preston Hollow Elementary - and little George (Georgie) is here at CDP during the day - they love soccer, dance, singing in the choir, playing baseball, football, cuddles, kisses, bedtime stories and to laugh LOUD!  Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive and made them feel so loved here at our church.  They are such gifts........and I absolutely LOVE being their mommy.  : ))

It's really nice to be back.  I missed the staff, our ministry - and all of you.  I can't wait to see you this week!

These last couple of months I have learned a lot.  A lot about myself - and a lot about others.  It's funny - young people always think the old people have it all figured out.  The truth is, we have worries, fears, insecurities, and failures just like you.

As you can imagine.......my family get a lot of stares and a lot of questions.  I can't go anywhere without people standing there - just staring.  To save them from themselves - I just want to say, "Yes, they are my kids.  Yes, I know they have funky accents, afros and are very black.  It doesn't matter.  They're mine and I love them as if I carried them in my belly."  My kids get it too.  Just the other day Anna-Prin said, "Mom, everyone always asks, 'Why are your mom and dad white and you are black?"  I asked her what she said back - she said - "I tell them you adopted us - and that's just the way it goes!"

Now - don't get me wrong - I don't think everyone is looking at us in judgment - or criticizing - but it is interesting to be on this side of the stares, questions, comments.

But I loved Anna-Prin's answer.  "That's just the way it goes!"

Why can't we all look at life like that?

I know as I look around and judge others - this is rarely my conclusion.......my response.  Instead of looking at others and shrugging my shoulders and saying, "That's just they way it goes!" - I stand in judgment.  I criticize.  I make my own conclusions - about things and people that are none of my business. 

Why do I do this?  Why do we do this??

We do it about the way people look.  About the way they talk.  About the sin that plagues their life.  About the way they spend their money.  What they do with their boyfriend/girlfriend.  Decorate their house.  What grades they make.  How they spend their weekends.  Eat.  Walk.  Breathe.  Dress.  Dance.  Sing. 

I mean - the way we judge people sometimes it's a wonder anyone makes it out alive.

It's funny.  It's funny because this is the exact opposite way Christ taught us to live.  To love.

It's so weird to me how we look upon others with such judgment when we know very little about:

what they are RELLY going through

what their home life is REALLY about

how they REALLY feel

what their background is

or what makes them do what they do

and the truth is........it's none of our business - because for whatever reason, "that's just the way it goes" and Christ has told us again and again to be merciful, just as our Father is merciful. 

In Luke 6 He says it perfectly........

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.  Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

He also told them this parable: “Can the blind lead the blind? Will they not both fall into a pit? The student is not above the teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like their teacher.

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye."

Don't we all have a plank in our eye?  Don't we all have "stuff"?  And instead of pointing - shouldn't we just love???

Because you know what my friends.........that's the way it SHOULD go.....

Love.  That's it.  That's all we need to do.

As Carter would say, "Finish."

I love you.  Missed you.

And always will.

T